LeadingLDS

A Book for Every Bishop

This post is part of a series of posts relating to the book Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Change. See related posts here.

It's no surprise to anyone that sin dominates the world culture. Temptation is a pandemic and each member of the church deals with it in a personal manner. The problem to overcome isn't necessarily the sin itself but the fact that sin is so addicting once it's started.

All bishops meet with individuals that are struggling with addiction to sin. From drugs, pornography, lying, alcohol, impure lifestyles and so on. Thankfully the gospel includes individuals like bishop that allow an individual to confess and partake of the healing power of the Atonement. Not only is the Bishop there to fill the role as a common judge but also to counsel.

Elder Hales stated the following when he was the presiding Bishop of the church,

The bishop’s role as a common judge is not merely to hear our confessions and determine what action should be taken with regard to our transgressions. The bishop serves as our counselor if we will listen to him. He can help us repent or turn away from transgression so that we may feel better about ourselves and so that we will feel comfortable in the presence of the Holy Ghost, who will guide us and comfort us. Ultimately, it is the Lord who will forgive us when we have overcome our transgressions.

Many times the transgressor will be looking for direction about how to stop the addictive sin. Inspiration as a bishop will definitely give direction on what to say and how to counsel. It is also important to educate yourself on how to deal with addiction so you have clear direction to give.

I was given the opportunity to receive an advanced copy of Change Anything: The Science of Personal Success. This book gives a solid model that a bishop can follow as they counsel people to change. A model that the authors of the book say will make change 1000% more successful. That assertion alone makes the book worth reading.

Over the next few weeks LeadingLDS will dedicate a variety of posts that will highlight the principles in this book and how they can be used as you lead other towards change. You will also find these principles helpful in changing yourself and becoming a better leader.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: Most Effective Speaker of His Time

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland always delivers when he speaks! No matter the occasion or topic he always leaves the congregation filled with emotion. Why is this and how can all leaders produce this result?

From the moment Elder Holland begins his remarks he always (figuratively) lays his heart and feelings on the podium. He refuses to hold back emotion. He is direct, clear, and unapologetic. He is there to clearly communicate the point of his remarks wrapped with feeling.

When was the last time you spoke as a leader to your ward, quorum, or organization with such love and emotion? People will listen with feeling if you talk with feeling. This creates motivation to build that kingdom like nothing else.

Take note that even though Elder Holland speaks with emotion, his words never produce negative emotion. He doesn't want you to feel guilty or lacking or insufficient. He leaves you motivated and dignified. Never put down the quorum, always lift them and show them what they can become.

Such emotionally filled talks should not be reserved for General Conference or even sacrament meeting. Those you lead should feel such power of emotion in every ward council, quorum meeting, and even during a one-on-one interview.

Take 15 minutes and Change the Way You Manage

Take 15 minutes and watch this video. Then comment below how it applies to church leadership.  There is more to be said on this but let's first hear what you have to say.

Enjoy!

 

Leading From the Bottom

At one time or another you hear the invitation to "stand after your name is read" in sacrament meeting. This means you are getting a calling and that calling may be classified as "leadership".

However, that isn't where leadership is born. Leadership is born in the individual who realizes they can make a difference as a primary teacher, a deacon's quorum adviser, a home teacher, or even a door greeter. 

A few months back I was recommended the book Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us. The recommendation was delivered to me in such a way I felt I needed to buy the book the same day--so I did. The author, Seth Godin would be described as a marketing genius in the business world but I would describe him as a leadership genies that talks about marketing. Quite frankly marketing has a lot to do with leadership. If you don't know how to transfer (or sell) your idea to those you lead you may not reach success.

Many subjects in this book I'll discuss at a later time but the idea that impacted me the most was Leading From the Bottom on page 19.

It reads:

The skeptical among us look at the idea of leadership and we hesitate.

We hesitate because it feels like something we need to be ordained to do. That without authority, we can't lead. That big organizations reserve leadership for the CEO, not for us.

Perhaps you work at a big organization. Perhaps you feel as though there's just too much resistance to change. Here's a question: Is your organization stiffer than the Pentagon? More bureaucratic or formalized?

Thomas Barnett changed the Pentagon. From the bottom. No, he wasn't on KP duty, but he was close. He had no status, no rank--he was just a researcher with a big idea.

Here's what the Wall Street Journal said:

Mr. Barnett overhauled the concept to address more directly the post-9/11 world. The result is a three-hour PowerPoint presentation that more resembles performance art than a Pentagon briefing. It's making Mr. Barnett, 41 years old, a key figure in the debate currently raging about what the modern military should look like. Senior military officials say his decidedly controversial ideas are influencing the way the Pentagon views its enemies, vulnerabilities and future structure.

It's simple, really. Barnett led a tribe that was passionate about change. He galvanized them, inspired them, and connected them, through his idea.

One man with no authority suddenly becomes a key figure. Tribes give each of us the very same opportunity. Skill and attitude are essential. Authority is not. In fact, authority can get in the way.

Leaders don't inspire masses, they inspire individuals. I would hope that nobody would wait for the title before they lead. Are you a key figure in your ward? Don't let authority get in the way.

A fear of mine is that those without the title of President, Bishop, or Relief Society President will feel they have nothing to learn from LeadingLDS until they are ordained to such a calling. Where ever you are found in the church, take it upon yourself to change the kingdom within the boundaries of your ward. You have the ability to do so--and if you are lucky enough, you don't have a title to get in the way.

 

 

Mastering the Fundamental Attribution Error

Have you ever said things to yourself similar to these?

"They don't home teach because they are lazy."

"They don't visit teach because they don't know how to prioritize."

"Every week they are late. They must not understand the importance of sacrament meeting."

"We've knocked on their door for three months in a row. They must not want home teachers."

"Every time I ask him to do something he drops the ball. He must not care."

All leaders approach responsibilities with optimism. However, when things don't work out because others don't follow through we begin making assumptions about these individuals. We can't understand why someone isn't doing an easy home teaching assignment so we therefore attribute it to laziness, bad attitudes, or lack of faith.

You can thank the Fundamental Attribution Error for this type of thinking.

Fundamental Attribution Error—the automatic assumption we often make that the other person's motives are bad. This can happen when someone says or does something we think is harmful or threatening. We immediately attribute bad motive

I'm a big fan of the people down at VitalSmarts. They know their stuff about creating change and leading change. (More about them to come in future posts) I first learned about the Fundamental Attribution Error while reading their material.

While leading we sometimes become so frustrated by the inefficiency of others that we simply need something to attribute the lack of success.

How do we avoid the Fundamental Attribution Error with those we lead? According to our friends at VitalSmarts we simply need to ask ourselves a question. “Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person act this way?” Regardless how you ask this question simply take a moment and step back from your judgment and figure out what this person needs. Start with yourself. What can you do to help them build skills necessary to complete the task and how can you help them better understand the task?

As a leader when have you let the Fundamental Attribution Error take over?

Change Anything - An Interview with Joseph Grenny

Popular author Joseph Grenny is interviewed about his upcoming book Change Anything. He gives an LDS perspective about changing behavior. It's worth a watch.

How do the principles he discusses relate to home teaching? Visiting teaching? Class participation? Bishops influencing others to change unrighteous behavior?

After watching share your thoughts below.

(Interview begins at 10:00 minute mark)

 

Why Your Delegating Isn't Working.

Delegate! Delegate! Delegate!

If you have been a leader in the LDS church you have probably heard this cry from many others that are helping you realize you can't do it alone. They go on and on about the reasons you have counselors or committees. They thank you for your hard work but plead with you to share the many tasks that are on your plate with those that can help. You innocently reply to this outcry that you simply want to make sure everything is done right and on time. If you delegate someone might drop the ball and then you, as the leader, are responsible. Nonetheless, you understand the importance of delegation and commit to delegate many of the tasks on your list.

Sister Toobusy: Sister Helper, I know I have been taking too much of the load lately so I really need your help teaching the next Sharing Time  lesson during primary.

Sister Helper: Sure I would love to help. I have noticed you have been taking on a lot as the Primary President. I am glad you feel like you can ask.

Sister Toobusy: Oh thank you! This will be such a blessing. The topic for this upcoming Sharing Time is Honor Thy Father and Mother so make sure you have enough material to fill 30 minutes. What you will want to do is use a lot of visual aids. These kids sure can get distracted easily. In fact, here are some cute coloring pages that you can use for the activity. OH! ...and make sure you coordinate with Sister Singer so that she has songs prepared for the kids to sing that go along with the lesson topic. In fact, tell her we need to sing, Love is Spoken Here and Quickly I'll Obey. Spread out the singing time every ten minutes. And here...let me give you a cookie recipe you can make for the kids. Put each cookie in zip-lock bag and staple this cute message to it. Wow! Thanks Sister Helper for letting me delegate this to you.

Sister Helper: Um....sure....anytime.

An extreme example for sure but the point being -- delegation is giving ownership of the task, not telling how to do the task.

The concept of autonomy has been address on this blog HERE and HERE (if you haven't watched that video clip you really should take the time to do so...there is a lot to learn). Autonomy is the main key that is missing from most delegation. The leader is so concern with the task getting done perfectly that they feel they must give detailed step-by-step direction. When in the end the person receiving the delegation is stripped of all motivation.

As a leader autonomy is your friend. It motivates and engages.

Author Dan Pink gives a compelling argument in his book Drive, The Surprising Truth about What Motivates Us (and seriously...if you haven't read and studied this book as a leader you are really doing yourself a disservice)

A sense of autonomy has a powerful effect on individual performance and attitude. According to a cluster of recent behavioral science studies, autonomous motivation promotes greater conceptual understanding, better grades, enhances persistence at school and in sporting activities, higher productivity, less burnout, and greater levels of psychological well-being. Those effects carry over to the workplace. In 2004, Deci and Ryan, along with Paul Baard of Fordham University, carried out a study of workers at an American investment bank. The three researchers found a greater job satisfaction among employees whose bosses offered "autonomy support." These bosses saw issues from the employee's point of view, gave meaningful feedback and information, provided ample choice over what to do and how to do it, and encouraged employees to take on new projects. The resulting enhancement in job satisfaction, in turn, led to higher performance on the job. What's more, the benefits that autonomy confers on individuals extend to their organizations. For example, researchers at Cornell University studied 320 small businesses, half of which granted workers autonomy, the other half relying on top-down direction. The businesses that offered autonomy grew at four times the rate of the control-oriented firms and had one-third the turnover.
(Pink, 2009, 70)

In short, simply delegate by letting them know the result you want the task to produce.

Sister Toobusy: Sister Helper, I know I have been taking too much of the load lately so I really need your help teaching the next Sharing Time lesson during primary.

Sister Helper: Sure I would love to help. I have noticed you have been taking on a lot as the Primary President. I am glad you feel like you can ask.

Sister Toobusy: Great, I know you will do a wonderful job. Feel free to handle it anyway you would like. All I want is for this sharing time lesson to help the kids feel the spirit of the topic and feel motivated to respect their parents.

Sister Helper: I understand. I'll get it done.

If they need further direction they will let you know. But let them spread their wings and try. If it isn't as perfect as it would be if you did it yourself that's ok. At least you have a motivated and engaged team player on your side.

The Impact of a Leader's Voice

This past weekend I found myself sitting on an airplane after spending a week in New York City. I reflected back on my busy week that included various activities around the city with my wife. As I sat with the small chaos happening around me I felt as if I needed a spiritual moment. I took out my mp3 player and pulled up a talk from the latest October Conference. It was a talk by Elder Jeffery R. Holland. As I mentally left the airplane choas and listened to his voice I was amazed by the instant spirit it invited. It wasn't the message or the context but the tone and sound of his voice. A voice of a servant of God. It touched me because I had listened to his teaching so many other times and felt the spirit before.

This experience made me wonder what it takes to be a THAT leader. Where  the simple sound of your voice invites the spirit and reminds those that follow that THIS leader loves and cares for them. That THIS leader has faith in Jesus Christ.That THIS leader has taken the time to clearly express their love for those he leads.

This doesn't happen by simply turning the time over to the instructor each Sunday. Or by simply going through the motions with each assignment. When you become the leader that always takes a moment to testify, to share a spiritual experience, or to express love for the individual, you then become the leader that fills hearts with the spirit by simply speaking.

Are you THAT leader?

How to Get the Class Participating During Your Church Lesson.

Let's talk about awkward times during quorum meeting. You are ten minutes into your lesson and it isn't turning into an all-star lesson. Everyone looks bored and the content you are presenting doesn't seem to come across as overly interesting. It's time to save the lesson by getting the class involved--get them talking. So you naturally ask a question, "So brethren what are your thoughts on the scripture I just read?" And then you wait for the first hand to go up....

...and you wait

...and wait

...wait

...still waiting

By this time the feeling of awkward silence settles on the class like it did on your first date in high school. Sweat beads appear on your forehead and you just can't take it anymore so you break the silence yourself. "Well....ok....What about this..." By the time you finish answering your own question you get a few nods from the crowd. You then look uncomfortably back down at the lesson manual and move to the next point.  Hopefully there is a next point.

Tough crowd, eh? What is it that makes a crowd tough? 

Let's turn the tables. Remember the last time you were in a Sunday School class and the teacher asked a question that you knew the answer to but you didn't raise your hand? Or you whisper the answer under your breath? Why does this happen? Why don't you raise your hand and proudly proclaim the answer to the question? 

When we walk into a room with a group of people, regardless how familiar they are, our comfort level seems to reset. We naturally put our guard up and our personality takes a back seat. As soon as we regain that comfort we then have no problem expressing ourselves.

The Secret: Get them to hear their own voice among the group.

Many instructors in church jump into their lesson without realizing everyone in the room is naturally uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable to the point of leaving, but uncomfortable enough that they don't want to overly participate. No matter how intriguing you sound they won't participate even if they know the answer. It is your responsibility as the instructor to prime the pump before you start with your lesson plan. The mental switch happens once they hear their voice among the group and realize they are safe to participate. This involves simply asking basic questions and having a natural conversation with the group.

"Well thank you brethren for maknig it to Elder's Quorum. We are going to talk about missionary work today. I need five of you brethren to quickly tell me where you served your mission."

This is a simple question and many will feel comfortable speaking up with an answer. The trick is to make the question simple and have the feel of a normal conversation.

Additional examples of questions:

What are some things you miss about being a missionary?

Who enjoyed the MTC?...Who never wants to go back?

Who have contact with people from their mission?

Who still uses the languange they learned on their mission?

How many copies of the Book of Mormon have you shared since you returned from your mission?

The class should be inundated with questions such as these at the beginning of the lesson in order to get them used to participating. Once someone responds immediately give them a follow up question. "Brother Watts tell me in what capacity you still use your Icelandic since your mission."

The Shy of the Shy

The above technique may work for many in the class but there will always be a group of people that simply refuse to respond to your questions. It's important that you address this at the beginning of the lesson so all will feel comfortable participating throughout the class. Once you see who isn't responding ask them questions directly.

YOU: "Brother Nevershares, where is it you served?"
Brother Nevershares: "Antartica West Mission"
YOU: "Wow, What sort of food do they eat there?"
Brother Nevershares: "Frozen whale."

Continue with follow up questions until he feels comfortable speaking in the group.

Taking the time to get the class talking is so crucial. If you are able to help the class feel comfortable with active discussion at the beginning the rest of the lesson will be much more comfortable as the teacher. Or you can skip this step and enjoy the sound of silence after each questions. Your call...

How to Improve Home Teaching by 20%

Many may classify 100% home teaching a fairy tale. Even 80% would be a modern day miracle for many. Like I mentioned here, home teaching is a unique challenge. It's hard to compare it to anything else in life. When a new EQP is called everything is new--especially the problems. How do they go from 40% home teaching up to 80%? I don't mean to group every new EQP into the "clueless" category because I am sure many are doing it in a way that produces results (If you are one of those please contact LeadingLDS so we can share your secret). I have been apart of many priesthood quorums and I have watch the leaders try the same techniques over and over again in order to create satisfactory home teaching results.

How does the typical leader try to motivate a group to home/visit teach?

Quorum leaders typically motivate through group pep talks, lessons, or other verbal methods. When the HPGL realizes his numbers need a boost he puts together the lesson of all lessons and then stands before his group on Sunday ready to inspire them to become all-star home teachers. My guess is every priesthood member has sat through THAT lesson. There are good ones when the spirit is present and the leader sincerely asks all to participate in home teaching. And there are bad ones where the guilt trip is laid on thick and everyone stares at the carpet. Whether the spirit is present or not the flaw is in trying to solve the problem on a group level.

"If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted."
— Sir Francis Bacon

Quorum lessons focused on improving home teaching rarely work. In fact, I have made it a personal rule that I will never mention home teaching results or efforts in weekly group meetings. I tried the pound-the-pulpit-damnation-home-teaching lesson back when I was a student ward EQP. When I gave the lesson our home teaching was at 40% and a few months later it was 39%. Nothing happened.

So like Brother Bacon said in the quote above "we must expect to employ methods never before attempted." This is a strong quote. The new methods don't have to be completely out-of-the-box but slightly different can truly improve home teaching by 20% or more (I know because I've seen it happen).

There are many things to tweak in order to improve the results of home teaching (which we will discuss in later posts). But my purpose in this post is to give you one thing in order to improve your home teaching by 20% or more. That one thing is MONTHLY INTERVIEWS WITH EACH MEMBER OF THE QUORUM. 

• Make this your number one priority.
• Delegate every other task/responsibility possible so you have the time available to sit down individually with each member of the quorum. DO NOT delegate this to your counselors. It is important that you are the one they see each month. 
• Be consistent. At the beginning of each month give your secretary a list of days you will be available to interview. Don't try and set them up on your own. You already have plenty to do.
• Follow the spirit and create the best format that works for you during these interviews (spiritual thought, report on each family, personal progress)

Is this over-kill on effort? I assure you the most effective thing you can do as a leader is build relationships through monthly interviews. Being on an individual level changes everything. I would do this if I had 10 in my quorum or 96. I have seen the best results by making this one change.

I challenge you to try it for three months.

What changes have you made that have given you a bump in home teaching numbers?